ABOUT THE BOOK

Knowing what to do in conflict and actually doing it are two different things. When the stakes are high and emotions take over, what we may know in principle becomes hard to access in practice. Conflict triggers a threat response that narrows attention, hijacks judgment, and pulls people toward the patterns they have always used rather than the ones they have learned.​

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Conflict Competency: Eight Skills Leading to Better Outcomes is built on a different premise: that conflict, if handled well, can be a powerful source of learning, growth, and value creation. The book develops eight core skills organized across three levels — personal capacities of mindset, strategic flexibility and emotional regulation; relational capacities of listening, strategic communication, and intervention; and organizational capacities of systems design and team leadership. Each chapter combines research from cognitive science, positive psychology, communication, and complexity theory with examples drawn from twenty years of commercial litigation, executive leadership, board and advisory work and more than a decade of teaching conflict resolution and negotiation.

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The book is written for leaders, executives, educators, and anyone whose work depends on engaging difficult conversations well. It does not promise quick fixes. It develops durable skills that strengthen over time and apply across personal, relational, and organizational contexts.